Uncovering Hope (Uncovering Love Book 3) Page 2

  “Well, Mrs. Bell is in a meeting. I’ll have to get back to you to arrange a time in her schedule.” She pulls the phone to her ear and calls each of the boys’ teachers, then requests my sons come to the office. When she replaces the receiver in its cradle I step to the edge of her desk.

  “I will not leave until I speak with Mrs. Bell. I’ll sit here all damn day if I have to.” My patience is thin. I’m sleep deprived, and the mama bear inside has been awoken from her den. No curly haired, middle-aged secretary will stand in the way of protecting my cubs.

  “Are you threatening me, Mrs. Reynolds?” She gasps and rolls her chair away. My boys come into view and I drop to my knees.

  “Mama!” they squeal and I open my arms, catching their hugs. I squeeze my eyes shut as tears threaten. I refuse to cry in front of them. My entire being settles. A feeling of peace consumes the worries from before. They’re safe.

  I open my eyes and meet the accusing gaze of Ms. Gatekeeper. “No.” I murmur. “Not a threat. A promise.”

  AFTER WAITING OVER AN HOUR I’m finally able to speak with Mrs. Bell. She assures me of security measures already in place at the school and agrees to send a note to the boys’ teachers as a reminder. It doesn’t extinguish my fears, but for now it’s enough. I’m exhausted, barely able to keep my eyelids open for the short drive to Tate’s.

  I drop my purse on the kitchen table and trudge to my room. The dark, cool room calls like a siren. I only have four hours before the boys return so I don’t waste time. My teeth receive a quick brush and I strip off my scrubs. I’ll shower later, but if I don’t get some shut eye I’ll be a zombie at Tate and Evie’s party.

  I double check to ensure the alarm is set and the ringer’s on vibrate when I plug my phone into the charger. I cocoon myself into a pile of blankets and pillows, turning to my side to rub my feet, one against the other.

  The more I think about the phone call, the more I doubt myself. Was that even him? It couldn’t be. How can one phone call turn a person’s world upside down so quickly? I see this every day. Parents receiving the call, “Your child has cancer.” You don’t walk around expecting horrible things to happen, but they do all the same.

  Enough, Carly. Turn the brain off! Funny how I can’t wait to get to my bed, but so many times I just end up staring in the dark. Wishing for sleep.

  I need to sleep or I’m going to look like shit tonight. And for once I have a sitter. Well, my co-worker Rose, but I trust very few people to keep watch over the boys while I go celebrate my little brother and future sister-in-law.

  The phone call of earlier scratches at the back of my brain but I push it back. I’ll deal with it tomorrow. It was probably nothing more than my overactive imagination anyway. And if it’s a problem, maybe I’ll hire Jon and Evie’s PI firm to look into it.

  I’m amped up regardless of my lack of sleep, so I reach for the easy fix. I slide open my bedside table drawer. It’s full of my treasures . . . presents from my co-workers who thought it’d be hilarious to celebrate my thirtieth birthday by each gifting me a dildo. The sight of a dozen plus vibes still makes me giggle. I had refused to join an online dating site, so in turn they thought they’d pay me back with gag gifts. Joke was on them, though, because these toys have become my favorite pastime. One I’ll never admit aloud.

  Grabbing my Rabbit, I start at the lowest setting and slide it between my legs. My eyes flutter shut and I melt into the sheets, letting my mind wander. Latest book boyfriend? No, it feels like cheating now that I’ve read the epilogue and he’s with what’s-her-name. Hot doc? I didn’t really get a chance to memorize all his features, what with almost breaking his nose on the door, save that for another time. Drummer boy? Oh, yes, that’s what I’ll be having.

  I fantasize about him more than is healthy for a grown woman with two kids. It’s probably because the two times I met Derek Taylor, the drummer for Three Ugly Guys, he flirted shamelessly. I’m not naïve, he probably does that with hundreds of women, but for a few minutes he picked me. His playful whispered words turned me on and I felt sexy, beautiful, wanted, a woman for a short moment in time. A moment that I press repeat with each self-love session.

  “Hi, I’m Derek. Wanna fuck?”

  “You look good enough to eat.”

  “So, you’re here with a date? Wanna ditch the stiff and come to our show? I’ll make sure you’re coming on my face later.”

  Biting my lower lip I hold in the screams of my orgasm, a habit from living in a very full household. Sweat glistens on my brow, legs, and I’m soaked at my core. My entire body twitches with the aftermath of my release. I slow the vibrations and ride the waves. I’m not ready to let the fantasy go just yet.

  Pulling my trusty friend from between my legs I drop him back into the drawer to clean when I wake up and roll to my side. My eyes flutter shut quickly this time. Sleep comes easily. The remembered sounds of drummer boy’s voice lull me into the deep.

  This is it. I’m at the end of my rope here. I don’t know what else to do. I shut myself inside the tiny bathroom and lock the door. I slide down, the wall against my back, and hold back the wails that rise from within. Tears drop, forming a mismatched pattern across my dirty work scrubs.

  “Mama, Eli’s hungry. My belly hurts, too. I can’t find any snacks. Can we go to the grocery store?” my little man, only just turned seven, asks through the thin door. How do you explain to your child that Mama doesn’t have money for food? When Josh got sentenced to an eight year prison stay almost three years ago, I thought that was rock bottom. Little did I know. Hell, back then at least I had a few things to sell.

  My phone rings from my pocket and I pray it’s not more bad news. I can’t take anymore. It’s a number I don’t recognize.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey, big sis! How you doing?” Tate’s chipper voice sounds through the line and it’s almost enough to cause me to burst into tears. I don’t hear from him or my parents much since they live out of state. I still haven’t told them about Josh. About our situation. About what I’ve become. It’s bad enough I am a complete failure. It’s selfish but I still hold on to the fact they don’t think that about me.

  “Hey, Tate. I haven’t heard from you in a while, how are things?”

  “Well, actually, I’m in Arizona.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah, I’m here for training and I’d love to see you and the fam. You free for dinner?” Shit. Only if he’s paying, and knowing my brother, he will be.

  “Yes!” I force myself to smile, to sound like everything is fine. “I’d love to see you. And the boys are so big, they’ll love you.”

  “Awesome. I’m staying downtown. Actually not too far from Children’s. Can we meet somewhere near my hotel? In fact, why don’t you come here? There are tons of places we can walk to.”

  “Sounds perfect.” I live downtown, too. In a tiny one bedroom apartment that allows me to pay rent weekly instead of monthly. It’s the only thing I can afford after daycare expenses and payments toward the debt Josh left me.

  “Great. I’ve missed you, sis.”

  “I’ve missed you too, Tate.”

  “Carly. Carly, wake up, sis. We’ve gotta leave.” My eyes snap open and are met by my brother’s concerned expression. He sits at the edge of my bed, hand resting over my leg. “Long night?”

  “Yeah,” I croak and sit up. I reach for my cup of water for a sip. “I had to run by the boys’ school after my shift.” The boys! “Shit, what time is it? Where are Eli and Ez?”

  “Evie and I picked them up from the bus stop two hours ago. Evie’s making them dinner now. You were out of it. I tried to wake you earlier but figured you could use the extra sleep.”

  “I’m so sorry! This is a big night for you guys. You shouldn’t be worried about picking up my kids or taking care of them. Next time, wake me up.”

  “Hey, chill. It’s fine. We’re family. The boys aren’t any trouble and we were already hanging out until it’s time to leave.
It’s no biggie.” But it is a big deal. He’s always here for me and my kids, sacrificing time and money for us to have a better life.

  When we met up with Tate almost a year ago, I hadn’t been able to keep up the front and pretend things were fine. We met for dinner, had a great time with the boys, but when he walked us back to the car it wouldn’t start. I couldn’t fake being fine. I broke down in tears. I told him everything. He gave us a ride home and when he saw my apartment he swore to me that things would be better. He would take care of us. And he’s kept that promise.

  “Tate. Can I ask you something?” I fiddle with the edge of my blanket.

  “Shoot.”

  “You’ll tell me when we’re in the way. When it’s time for me to go? I don’t want to be a burden to you. You’ve done so much for me.”

  “Shut up! What nonsense are you spouting and when did this pop into your delusional head?” He smiles and his eyes crinkle at the corners.

  “I’m serious. We can’t live with you forever. You’ll have your own life to make with Evie; your own family to start. And I’m not bitter or mad, you deserve all those things. It’s not realistic to think we’ll live with you forever.”

  “God, would you stop! You’re totally depressing. I can’t imagine not having those rug rats greet me with a big hug and kiss every day. And you’re okay. I guess.”

  I reach back, grab a pillow and throw it at his face.

  “Just okay? Thanks so much, little bro.”

  He laughs and stands from the bed to walk through the open doorway. “I know things will change Carly, but don’t cut me out or assume things. We’re a family, you and I, and Evie, too. We’ll make big decisions like that together.”

  Tears prick my eyes but I blink them back. “Thanks brother. I love you.”

  “Love you too, sis. Now get up and start getting ready!” He smiles widely. “We’ve got an engagement to celebrate!” He gives a clap and practically dances down the hall. I’m so glad he and Evie found each other and that she makes him this happy.

  MY BROTHER AND HIS FIANCÉE are celebrating their engagement at The Perch in downtown Chandler. It’s an actual bird sanctuary for rescued exotic animals, which seems a little strange and not so sanitary, but they swear it’s wonderful. I’m not as sure as I pull my Camry into a nearby dirt lot. I see the lights of the brewery but apparently I have to walk through a dark and scary alley to get there.

  I grab my clutch and step out of the car to balance on my heeled calf length boots; shoes I love but rarely have the chance to wear. Black leggings paired with a billowing sleeveless white top makes me feel sexy and comfortable at the same time. Not an easy achievement for women’s wardrobe.

  As I trudge through the alley the sounds of music, laughter, and chatter floats through the air. Beneath a vine covered archway I take in the array of macaws and other birds housed in large caged habitats.

  Darwin, a less than friendly looking macaw, sits atop a faux tree branch, uncaged, with a sign that reads: Do not pet, Darwin likes to bite. Charming.

  “Hello ma’am, welcome to The Perch. Table for one?” A girl who barely looks sixteen greets me with a smile.

  “I’m here for the engagement party.”

  “Oh, yes. It’s just up that staircase. Have fun! I wish I was invited. They’re having a blast up there.” She gushes.

  I walk up the rebar metal staircase and admire the industrial urban design. Tate and Evie rented the open rooftop lounge for the evening, and it’s another gorgeous October night in Arizona. With a slight chill in the air I’m thankful when I spot a few propane heaters positioned throughout. I scan the crowd to find familiar faces and make my way to the bar.

  “Carly! You made it!” Melissa, Evie’s older sister wraps me in a big hug. Her husband Drew nods and offers a wave.

  “Sorry I’m a little late. Looks like everyone’s having a great time.” I order a beer and glance about. I don’t know half of these people, probably friends or relatives of Evie and maybe some of Tate’s co-workers. As a natural introvert, navigating this sea of strangers for the night is daunting. But it’s my brother so I suck it up. Movement from the far corner catches my eye. A guy with an acoustic guitar and another on a bongo play the music streaming through the deck’s speakers.

  “I didn’t realize they hired a band. I thought this was a Pandora station.” I glance back to Drew who smirks as his wife’s mouth hangs agape.

  “Uh, they didn’t hire them. More like Kate called in a favor. That’s Three Ugly Guys. Well, two of them.”

  Oh shit. My skin heats at the realization and a shiver runs down my spine. The warmth of my blush travels up my neck and face. That’s Derek on drums. Derek who stars in my bedroom fantasies aided by the help of my vibe stash. Licking my lips, I grab my glass and excuse myself to move closer to the man eye candy.

  “Carly!” Kate waves with one arm, the other tangled around Jon’s bicep. I walk closer and smile at the couple. I’m pretty sure everyone was as relieved as I when these two stopped playing games and finally got together.

  “Hi, Kate. Hi, Jon. How’s it going?” I sip my beer, sneaking glances at the musicians who cover a classic Elton John tune.

  “They’re great, right?” Kate nods to Derek and Trent. Jon scowls.

  I try to play it cool and unaffected while I glance back in Derek’s direction. Oh, hell. He’s so pretty to look at. If only he was playing shirtless. He usually is, but I guess they decided to class things up. Tonight he’s wearing a dress shirt with the cuffs rolled up to reveal his corded forearms. Take back my earlier thought. He looks sexy and refined in this getup. His tats peak through where his dress shirt opens at the neck.

  “Wanna sit?” Kate nods to the open lounge chair and couch not too far from the band.

  “Yeah.” I follow, and a few beers later our seating arrangement includes my brother, Evie, Kate, Jon, Melissa, and Drew. I’m having a great time. Kate’s retelling stories that have my eyes filling with tears from laughing so hard.

  The next song ends and Trent and Derek pack up their instruments and walk over. I panic and clamber from the comfy chair. “I’m going to get another beer,” I say to no one in particular and head straight for the bar. Sliding onto an empty stool I wait, trying to make eye contact with the busy bartender. I twist my half empty beer in my hands while my fingers trace patterns across the glass.

  “It’s you again.” His voice is just as I remember and sends goosebumps across my flesh. He slides into the neighboring chair and turns so his knees touch my legs. The simple movement heats my entire body.

  “Wanna get out of here? Maybe get under me?” He waggles his brows with that knowing smirk. Derek leans close, his words fall softly, a sweet seduction at my ear. “I’d love to watch you fall apart underneath me. First I’d lick you ’til you’re screaming my name.” My heart hammers in my chest and I hold my breath, both wanting and not wanting to hear what he says next.

  “You’d taste so good. I love eating pussy. You know that? I’d be so turned on that I’d slam into you, balls deep. Filling that sweet, sweet pussy to the brim. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I lick my lips, a feeble attempt to wet my parched mouth. Squeezing my legs together because another part of me is having no trouble staying wet.

  “You know. This tongue piercing is for your pleasure.” He licks the shell of my ear, sucking on my lobe and flicks the skin with his stud. I bite my lip and moan. “And FYI, it’s not the only thing I have pierced.” Wow. “So what do you say?”

  I bring the glass to my lips and chug until the warm beer is gone. I’d love to forget life and spend my night in the arms of this rocker but that’s not my reality. I can’t play hooky, even for more than a few hours. I’m Mom twenty-four, seven. It’s just me. And those boys, they’re my world. More important than any one night stand.

  Pushing from my stool, I smile politely at Derek. “I’m sorry, I’ll have to decline your offer. Thanks, though.” I turn and walk back to where my friends and f
amily are still gathered.

  “What?” I hear him guffaw, a loud snort coming from his laughter. He’s by my side in two seconds. If nothing else, he’s persistent.

  “Did you just snort?” I smile. He stops short, grabs my arm, forcing me to face him.

  “Yeah, but let’s backtrack here. Why won’t you come home with me?”

  “Because I have to go home to my children.” I raise my brow and place one hand on my hip in a silent challenge. Clearly, he’s surprised; it’s written all over his face. The information will send any man running. Always does.

  “You have kids?”

  “Yes. That’ll douse a man’s hard on, right?” I laugh but he studies me with a smirk.

  “Tell me about them.” What?

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “No. Look, I don’t know you. You’re hot, but obviously have some mama issues because you’re still hitting on me.” He laughs, mischief written on his face as I rant. “I’m just a mom, a woman trying to do right by her children. I’ve got no room for you in my life. Not even for a night.”

  “I doubt that. You’re much more than you give yourself credit for. And for the record I don’t have mother issues.” He teases with a grin.

  “You have a healthy relationship with your mother?” I raise my brows. I’m not buying it.

  “I did.” He smiles sweetly. “Until she died.”

  “Oh, my god! Derek I’m so sorry—” He bursts into laughter and draws attention from the entire room. Crossing my arms over my chest, I scowl.

  “Sorry, couldn’t resist. You should’ve seen your face. I really do have a good relationship with my mom. She lives in Peoria and I call her every week. She’s the strongest woman I know. Swear.” His fingers trace a cross over his heart. I give his teasing eyes a hard glare.

  “I don’t joke about death. Ever. I’m a nurse for the oncology floor at Children’s.”

  Something passes over his face. The silly demeanor drops a split second before it eases back into a grin. “Yeah? That’s pretty cool. So, I’ve got to know. You ever fantasize about playing nurse and patient? ’Cause I feel a cold coming on.” His poor attempt at a cough has me laughing.